Make ‘Em Laugh

When I look back on my life I can quickly point out the hard times and the challenges, but more importantly the fact that I was able to make it through the trials. I believe the main reason I was able to fight to see another day is my sense of humor. There are few things I enjoy more than a good belly laugh. However that laugh often comes as a replacement for tears. If possible I will go for the laugh.

One of my all time favorite movies is the masterpiece “Singing in the Rain”. Gene Kelly was one of the best performers of all time. He could make you laugh, he could make you cry, he could make you swoon and when he danced, he could steal your heart. This handsome, masculine, light footed man would fly through the air as if he had wings. Team him up with the impetuous Donald O’Connor and endearing Debbie Reynolds and the formula for a classic MGM musical is complete.

If you haven’t seen ‘Singing in the Rain’ I strongly recommend this for an evening of fun for the entire family. The reason I’m talking about this is because of the one unforgettable number, “Make em Laugh”; the key word being laugh.

I started thinking about this last week after a rodeo clown was fired for wearing a mask of President Obama. If you look back before the clown you will find the court jester.

As far back as early Egypt the Pharaohs were entertained by court jesters. The jesters had a few different jobs, one was to entertain; another was to deliver bad news and also to mock the Pharaoh and his councils. This was no doubt the most difficult to accomplish because the punishment for going too far was probably losing your head.

There are also signs of jesters back in the times of the early Aztecs. So as you can see since near the beginning of time we have had people to make us laugh.

I will openly admit that I am the type of person that can make a joke about almost anything. The more somber or formal the moment sometimes the more ridiculous I am. I refer to this as a ‘tension breaker had to be done’. I can honestly say I have gotten into more trouble in my life for laughing than anything else I’ve ever done. I guess when I get nervous my brain goes into overdrive.

Now moving back to the rodeo clown, it seems somewhat petty to condemn a critic of President Obama let alone fire the guy. If any of you have ever been to a rodeo you know that one of the most dangerous jobs is the clown. It’s his or her job to distract the bull so the riders can get out of the ring safely. As to the Obama mask, I believe I have seen masks of every president that I can remember. The first president I really remember is John F. Kennedy. I think in light of his dire circumstances I don’t know if there was a mask or not or if I was just too young to remember.

I was, however, old enough to remember “Tricky Dicky”. I even remember Richard Nixon saying “Sock it to me?” I can still picture Dana Carvey doing George H.W. Bush in front of President Bush. Everyone, including President and Mrs. Bush, laughed. Tell me you’ve never seen or heard everyone do Bill Clinton aka Bubba. And of course let’s not forget the wonderful image of ‘W’s head on a pike, decorating King's Landing, hidden in Game of Thrones season one. The producer said they’re on a tight budget and had to use what they could find just hanging around, really?

Now I’ve never watched this show but enough people talked about the scene that even I knew about it. To the best of my knowledge, no one was fired. Humm, imagine that.

So since almost the beginning of time, court jesters or clowns have been making political statements in a humorous way. Even during the Restoration period Charles II did not have a jester but he was a patron of the arts and the proto-music hall, he was especially fond of Thomas Killigrew. Killigrew was a dramatist and a theatre manager and he was said to have quite the sense of humor.

From 1660-1669 Samuel Pepys kept detailed private diaries that are a clear representation of the Restoration period. In the famous diary, first published in the 19th Century, Pepys called Killigrew "The King's fool and jester, with the power to mock and revile even the most prominent without penalty" (12 February 1668).

My how times have changed; one of my favorite clowns was Emmett Kelly, Jr.  His famous character “Weary Willie” had a dreadfully sad face.  His job was to end the show with a silly, funny, yet charming effort to sweep up the spotlight.

If we can no longer mock or criticize our political leaders I fear that what “Weary Willy” is sweeping up is not the spotlight, but sadly, our first amendment.

Brown Bags

I would like to start today with a concept I’ve been thinking about for some time. I feel as if I’m trying to write to a blank door and maybe I am, but from now on, I will be writing to a friend. A friend that I can share my thoughts, politics, joys and maybe even fears, so from now on,  you are my friend. 

 

As my friend you know that I am now into my sixth decade and for all of this time I thought a brown paper bag was, well, a brown paper bag. When I was growing up and it was time for school, if you were lucky, you would get a new tin lunchbox. I remember having one that had a picture of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans on it. If you weren’t as lucky as me, or if you were a boy, you took your lunch in a brown bag.

 

For me it was somewhat of a socioeconomic issue. Now don’t get me wrong, I grew up in the rust belt and at best most people were middle class blue collar workers. Some were miners so they may have made a little less. The only doctors or professionals I knew were the ones that took care of me at the hospital.

 

Time passed and I got married, had children, moved to Florida and although I still consider myself a blue collar worker, I moved up about one step to slightly upper middle class.

 

As my daughter grew she started to study ballet. I didn’t realize at the time but it would become her career. For those who don’t know about classical ballet I like to compare it to Olympic gymnastics or figure skating. Ballet is a full time endeavor and a costly one at that. Having said that her, ballet took us back down that small step back to middle class. Her dad and I didn’t mind at all, we were thrilled she found her life’s love and devoted every waking moment to it.

 

During this time, the local upscale mall opened a Bloomingdales Department store. This didn’t matter to me but most of my daughter’s dancing mates came from wealthier families and all they talked about was Bloomingdales. It seemed that every day someone came in with something new from ‘Bloomies’.

 

Unless you are familiar with Bloomingdales you are probably wandering what does this have to do with brown bags.

 

Well as you see from the picture,

 

Bloomingdales signature is “the Brown Bag”. Every time I walked into the studio someone had a “Brown Bag”. My daughter wanted something in a “Brown Bag” so badly that she could hardly think of anything else. She’s not the type of child that had to have everything she saw, (refer back to Intro Blog), but being the only one without this was painful for her. After all it wasn’t fair (ha, ha)

We were getting close to Christmas, which is also her birthday and my brother wanted to get her something for both. I told him just get her anything from Bloomingdales in a ‘Brown Bag’ and she’ll be thrilled. Well because he spoiled her he got her a gift certificate for $100. Now this was about 1984 so to her $100 was like hitting the lottery. Therefore the day after Christmas off we go to Bloomingdales to buy something glamorous.

 

Now all of sudden she sees that a small wallet cost $50, a purse is $150 etc. She learned quickly that $100 would not go very far. This was long ago thus she had a paper check looking gift certificate and if you bought something for less than $100, the sales clerk would give you change in cash. It didn’t take long for her to say “I’m going to buy a hair clip for $10 and when I get my change can we go to K-Mart? I’m not spending all my money on this stuff; I can get a lot of things if I go somewhere else.”

 

What a wonderful lesson for a 13 year-old to learn. Name brands aren’t all they are cracked up to be and yet she still got her ‘Brown Bag’.

 

As a child I thought a brown paper bag was to carry things or maybe you couldn’t afford a new lunch box. Now I’m told it really means you have enough money to shop anywhere you want and the packaging is so impressive you can show people that you only shop at the best stores. Who knew?

 

Now here we are in 2013 and all of a sudden, I find out that all this time as I used my brown paper bag to carry things I realize I’ve been wrong.

 

Oh my gosh, I’m a racist!!! Oh no how did this happen? I didn’t even know I was and I don’t think most people who know me would say I am, but by golly, it’s true. It must be true the city of Seattle says so. I’m serious; gosh I wish I had known this before. According to the city of Seattle, the term ‘brown bag’ is so insensitive that the city employees can no longer say it, the phrase is banned! Wow, I’m glad we got that fixed.

 

Now I guess the fact that I didn’t know that I’m a racist makes me an even bigger one. If I weren’t a racist I would have know that there is something called the “brown bag test”.  

 

Oh excuse me according to the UrbanDictionary.com the actual phrase is “brown paper bag test”. It started around 1900. So 113 years ago (I’m old but not that old) there was a “brown paper bag test” that most people don’t even know existed and still we are racist.

 

How exactly did a brown paper bag go from being an item to carry things, to a sign of wealth, to being racist!!  I’m sure I don’t know but all I can say is thank God for Publix plastic bags! Oh no, wait a minute, aren’t Publix plastic bags the same color as the paper bags??? Hey, that’s not fair how do I know if I’m a paper racist or a plastic racist? I think my head just exploded. Once upon a time there was a girl that had her head intact, it was far, far, away… when she lived in a Fairy Tale…

Phony, Phact or Phairy Tale? Part Two

Last week we talked about Fast and Furious, Seal Team 6 and Benghazi. Probably the most important issue with these three “Phony” scandals is that people died. No one can ever bring the people back and nothing the government can do will ever replace the hurt, mistrust and division created by the lies and cover-ups to families of the lost. But it’s not only the families, it’s all of us who had a faith in the constitution and the people we choose to execute the laws.

I was one of those people like so many that spent all my time working, raising a family, going to church and helping people in every way I could. I trusted the government to implement our laws in a fair way. Needless to say I soon realized that fair is for fairy tales. The law is not fair, it is not just and it depends more on who you are and less about truth. I have a feeling that our Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves.

The three “Phony” scandals I’d like to discuss today were exposed so closely in time that the order doesn’t really matter; however, I will do my best.

IRS VS. TEA PARTY:  on May 10, 2013 a news story broke that the Tea Party and other similar organizations applying for 501(c)(4) tax exempt status was being targeted by the Internal Revenue Service. As early as May, 2010 employees of the IRS Determinations Unit began to develop a list known as a BOLO, or “Be on the Look Out” for applications that had names with words such as Tea Party, 912 Project, religious affiliations or anything that sounded conservative.

What seems to have happened most often; the applications were placed in a hold file. Some investigation was done and a few were denied, some approved, but mostly, the files just sat in limbo. Some of these groups have been waiting and are still waiting for up to two years or more.  This meant that most of these groups were not able to participate in the 2012 election at the level desired. There is no way of knowing what effect this may have had on the outcome of the election.

Now to be fair and you know how I feel about being fair, oh yeah, it appears that the IRS also targeted some progressive groups as well. I believe the numbers are something like 300 conservative groups to one or two progressive groups. Thus we can not claim that it was only conservative groups being attacked.

As I said last week there is far too much information to include here so I hope you will look into it, but that is entirely up to you. Although I must add that today a video clip has appeared of Lois Lerner IRS executive stating in early 2010 that the IRS is very confused by the Supreme Courts ruling on the Citizens United vs. the Federal Election Commission on January 21, 2010. Ms. Lerner proclaims that she’s getting a lot of heat about this and what can the IRS do to counter act this ruling before the election. It seems as if the IRS found a way.

DOJ/ JOURNALISTS: Sometime around May 13, 2013 the Associated Press released the story of how the Department of Justice had seized phone records for as many as 20 reporters and had also charged Fox News reporter James Rosen as a criminal co-conspirator under the 1917 Espionage Act. Much to my surprise, (sarcasm intentional), now that the Justice Department was spying on journalist, the reporters started to pay attention, for awhile. The DOJ went so far as to tap into the phones, email, texting etc. of Mr. Rosen’s parents and other close relationships.

I don’t know about you but that scares the ‘you-know-what’ out of me. Does anyone remember the 4^th Amendment??

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” 

It should be noted at this point that only one warrant was aquired for the seisure of records and that Attorney General Eric Holder had to go to three judges before he could get one to sign off on it.  But I guess when you are the head of the DOJ, well, justice is what you say it is.

NSA: About the same time the DOJ story broke, Edward Snowden leaked the information about the National Security Agency surveillance program that is not only targeting terrorist suspects, but ALL Americans. Oh yes that’s what I said, ALL Americans; cell phones, emails, texts, twitter and any other type of electronic communication available. Now the NSA claims that they are only looking for connections to terrorist and that they are not really looking at any of our information, they are just storing it incase we become terrorist. Ok, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anyone who is planning on becoming a terrorist. Maybe you have different friends than me, although I’m pretty average.

Just refer back to DOJ paragraph 3 the 4^th Amendment. As I mentioned before there is an incredible amount of information on all of these ‘Phony’ scandals, I hope this encourages you to do some more homework so you can make the decisions for yourself.

Also last week I told you I’d explain the Snake Oil poster. Well I’m sure most of you have thought about the Snake Oil salesman as an old con man. I would also think some of you see the comparisons to this administration, but the real story is, as with most writers, the Thesaurus is our best friend. Well when I started this two weeks ago I was curious about synonyms for ‘Phony’ and to my surprise, the last one listed was snake oil.

After all this ‘Phony’ scandal business we find that another word for ‘Phony’ is Snake Oil. Very interesting, this comparison may not be ‘Phair’ but it sure is ‘Phunny’.

Phony, Phact or Phairy Tale? Part One

In the spirit of full disclosure, I will start by saying my political persuasion tends to run center right. Some would claim that is an understatement. I’m certainly not an anarchist or even a libertarian. I am however a social conservative and when I’m forced to give my hard earned money to someone else to spend for me, well I’d like that person to be a fiscal conservative. I also expect he or she will be a good steward of all aspects of the government.  I suppose that really would be a Fairy Tale.

Having said all that, I’d like to discuss President Obama’s comments about all the “Phony” scandals distracting his administration. Unfortunately unless one is a wonk like me some may not even be familiar with all the “Phony” scandals.  Yet each passing day seems to bring another scandal.  I’m also going to describe this in chronological order not necessarily in order of seriousness. Finally because I respect your time I will only give a brief synopsis of each “Phony” scandal due to the extensive material available. My desire is to whet your appetite to do your own research so you may come to your own conclusions.

FAST AND FURIOUS: a gun running program that was allowing the Border States to sell guns to known drug cartels with the intent of tagging the guns with a GPS. This would allow agents to follow the guns and break-up the cartels. There is only one problem; the guns never got tagged, only sold. Over 2000 high powered guns were quickly lost and as a result on December 15, 2010, Border Agent Brian Terry was shot and killed. I’m sure his family doesn’t find anything “Phony” about his death. The Terry’s still don’t know exactly what happened only that he was killed with one of the guns from Fast and Furious. “Phony?” Nope. Fast? Ah no. Furious? Oh yeah!

NAVY SEAL TEAM 6: the team that took out Usama Bin Laden on May 2, 2011. Pryor to this the team was mostly unknown, the reason? They are the stealth fighters. Seal Team 6 is one of the most elite Special Ops teams in the military, stealth being the operative word. Until the raid on the Bin Laden compound most people had never heard of Seal Team 6. During the President and Vice President’s victory lap, it somehow slipped out that it was Seal Team 6 that killed Bin Laden, this put a target on the backs of the Seals.

I recently heard one of the Seals mothers talking about her son. She said that as soon as the Seals heard that their name had been released, they knew they would become a target. She said before her son left to go back to Afghanistan he created a will. Something he had never worried about before. On Saturday August 6, 2011 a CH-47 Chinook Helicopter was shot down over eastern Afghanistan during some “enemy activity in the area”. This mother’s son was on board. In total 30 Americans, 7 Afghans and one interpreter were killed. It was originally reported that of the 30 Americans, 25 were Navy Seals, several from Seal Team 6. This is the most deadly day for the military since the war started in 2001. Once again, the families are trying to find out exactly what happened to their loved ones. The mother I mentioned earlier said she had been told by military friends that the Afghans on the Chopper were not on the original roster and had been replaced at the last minute.  Coincidence? I don’t think so, a distraction? Maybe. “Phony”? Absolutely not!

BENGHAZI: On September 11, 2012 the American Diplomatic mission at Benghazi in Libya was attached by a group of insurgents. Before the long night was over, four Americans, including U.S. Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens were murdered. The other three Americans were Sean Smith, U.S. Foreign Service Information Management Officer and former Navy Seals, Tyrone S. Woods and Glen Doherty.

This story has been festering for over 10 months and yet once again, no one seems to know what happened. The administration actually had the temerity to declare this attack was a response to a low budget, poorly made video that denigrates the Prophet Mohammad. On the day of the attack only a few hundred people had seen the movie trailer on youtube. This narrative was pushed so hard that Secretary of State Hilary Clinton told one of the parents at Andrews Air Base during the body receiving ceremony that she would be sure to find the film maker and lock him up, so much for the first Amendment. Then on September 16, 2012 the Administration sent the U.S. Ambassador to the U. N., Susan Rice to appear on all of the Sunday morning news shows to reiterate these murders occurred do to a really bad movie that no one had seen. Four Americans are dead and the President and Secretary of State are talking about a move? I don’t think so.

One of the saddest things I’ve heard about this “Phony” scandal? Someone in the news asked the mother of Sean Smith if she had been contacted by anyone in the Administration or State Department since the bodies came home. She said yes she had, they sent her an email stating that since she was not an immediate relative of Sean Smith she was not entitled to any of the personal information. If the victims mother is not an immediate relative than who is? Now that sounds like a “Phony” scandal to me.

The number of “Phony” scandals is so numerous that I will need to complete this next week. By-the-way, I know since only enlightened readers are following this blog, some of you may have noticed that my title symbol doesn’t seem to fit the content, well maybe it does maybe not, but now you will have to wait until next week for me to explain. It may not be what you think. Now that’s a “Phony” tease if I’ve ever heard one.  I guess it’s not fair, but you know what that means.  After all, don’t forget, ‘Fair is for Fairy Tales’!